What's Going On?

What's Going On?

Thanks to Marvin Gaye for sponsoring this post. But in all seriousness, his song title did inspire me about the current state of everything at the moment, what is going on? And if you're interested, for work I created a playlist, including said song, specifically for quarantining which you can check out on Spotify here. Yes, I have too much time on my hands.

Since the beginning of the year, I've been busy. Mostly enjoying myself, working at another festival, had my purse stolen though, done back-to-back interviews with musicians, had all four wisdom teeth removed (damn I wish I timed that better for a quarantine) oh and yeah, I'm quarantining and working from home, because of a global pandemic virus (?!?). There's a sentence I never thought I would use.

Let's rewind over a week first. I was at work, I'm currently working here if you're interested. My time has been taken up writing and doing a lot for that lately hence why this place has taken a back seat. Anyway, so my colleague came and told me that I would be working from home because France was about to go on 'lockdown'. Sounds like the opening to an episode of Black Mirror, doesn't it?

Then everything just happened very quickly, like going through one of those flick books and everything goes by in a fast blur, too fast to gather your emotions. We were told all schools would be shut, then an announcement on the weekend said all restaurants/bars, etc would be closed, then another announcement later to say we were not to leave our homes for anything other than necessities. And breathe.

I read something online saying that, if you've got anxiety, you already make up so many catastrophic scenarios in your head that when something like this happens you may surprisingly feel calm because you're constantly prepared for the worst. Initially, I didn't feel calm, I felt worried and imbalanced. Though my emotions have been coming and going in waves, I've come to an acceptance of it all, and feel calmer. Even though I found out that Glastonbury, the first time I would ever have attended for the 50th anniversary, had been canceled, I just accepted it. My friend that had planned to come and visit me had to have her flights canceled but I accepted it...well I had no other choice but to accept. I've also stopped bombarding myself with news whilst at home which has helped my state of mind.

These were just two minor things on the scale of things being canceled and delayed but the major 'thing' is the illness, the major thing is people losing their lives, jobs, homes, potentially, because of it. So how do we possibly stay sane in situations like this?

Hopefully, I don't come off as 'preachy' but it's gratitude. It's the only thing helping me get through this and has been helping me with everything lately. I read that it is impossible to feel negative and positive emotions at the same time so I try to swap all my anxieties and fears with gratitude. In a time where it feels so uncertain and everything is up in the air, you have to be grateful for where you are right now in this second, what you have (no matter how small) and who you have in your life. 

I hope a lot of other people are seeing it this way too. When something is so massive, concerning massive populations and countries and quite literally puts the majority of the world 'on hold', I see it as more than just a virus. At least, I'm trying to turn this horrible event, experience into something positive which could feel like an impossible task. I'm naturally a very reflective, deep-thinker which is both a blessing and a curse so of course all this free time has got me thinking a whole load more.

If I can I take something, anything, positive from the situation, I think it's reinforced for me what is truly important more than ever, what I can go without and what is just 'stuff'. It's showing me the power of community and humanity. I'm realising how connected everyone is, regardless of borders and imaginary walls. I'm realising how valuable time is. I'm feeling inspired to be creative with no agenda. I'm enjoying filling my time with good books, art, music, and film. I've been doing dancing lessons in my flat with my roommate. I've been trying new recipes and reading books. I've been meditating. I'm enjoying pretty boring, simple things. I've surprisingly been laughing a lot. I'm astounded at my own, and others, strength when world catastrophes like this happen. I'm also astounded at the number of idiots who have chosen to hoard toilet paper!

I've tried to keep up with the news but had to reduce due to it making me feel powerless, guilty and negative. I've come somewhat to a conclusion about how this all relates to the planet, humans, climate change. However, I think it's up to you to make up your own mind about why this has all happened, without my influence. Whatever happens, I hope that this event gives you time to truly pause and reflect. I hope it brings you out the other side more grateful, more present. I sort of hope that we'll go a little slower, take a little more care, be more accepting, less greedy and not be in a rush to return to our usual ways, the kind of ways that will make something like this happen again in our future.

In other (less breaking) news, referring back to one of my last posts, I'm happy to say I achieved a 'small' goal of moving into my own flat (silver linings!). Not my 'own' home yet, but I'm getting there. The photos in this post were taken today on a walk. Luckily exercise during the quarantine is allowed, and so is staring at and taking photos of beautiful spring flowers. 

I realise this was probably just a jumble of thoughts and probably best not written at 10pm at night, but too late.

Lastly, I want to put out my gratitude to my home, family, friends, health workers, anyone working hard right now, also to musicians, artists, writers, filmmakers and activists who make my life and this world a better place.

The Film Club #10

The Film Club #10

I started this little series way back in 2016 as a place to share my love for films. It's been a while since my last so here are 6 films I have LOVED lately!

Uncut Gems (2019) 

by Josh & Benny Safdie

While this movie is still fresh in my mind, I feel compelled to talk about it, and tell everyone to watch it, (so I can talk about it with them too!). Adam Sandler was in his 50's before he finally got this perfect role offered to him and I guess you can say on this occasion that good does come to those who wait (a frigging long time!). Uncut Gems is the ultimate thriller-crime heist movie and is an adrenaline rush from start to finish. From the first moment of this film, it's like a time bomb is set, inevitably ticking towards a catastrophic ending. Sandler plays Howard Ratner, who runs a jewelry store in NYC's 'Diamond District' which I didn't know anything about until the film so it was a huge eye-opener for me, and I was completely gripped by the story. Sandler gives his all whilst playing one of the many ruthless, crazy, strung-out, addicted, mad-men who roam the Diamond District, and though he is a lying, cheating criminal, you can't help but sympathize with Howard and hope he'll make it out alive. You'll be literally on the edge of your seat as you watch him try to untangle himself from extremely sticky situations, one after the other, and as his career, family life, relationships and life hang by a very fine thread.

Marriage Story (2019)

by Noah Baumbach

Moving onto a completely different genre now, with Marriage Story by Noah Baumbach, the man behind Frances Ha and Mistress America. I've watched this twice now and don't get tired of it - the performances make the movie. It's a heartfelt and revealing look at the process of a couple going through a divorce with a child caught in the middle. The performances by Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson never felt fake or exaggerated and to me felt like watching the real thing. It is filmed in such a way that you see well from both sides of the marriage breakdown and never root for one more than the other, sharing the different perspectives of going through such an experience. You see the way a couple who once loved one another, or still do, can be turned against each other in the brutal process of divorce by their lawyers (though I loved Laura Dern!) and just how damn complicated it is. I also loved the way set design was used in this film too and how Baumbach decided to use a different aspect ratio (1.66) therefore creating a more intimate portraiture of the family and focusing on the characters more than anything else.

The Intern (2015)

by Nancy Meyers

Rewinding back a few years for this one with The Intern which came out in 2015 but is available now on Netflix. Not your usual Robert De Niro movie and it probably won't become a cult movie classic or anything but it's a perfect pick-me-up, slightly cheesy and fun movie. De Niro plays Ben who is a 70-year-old widower, who is not quite ready to retire just yet and feels he still has something to give. He conveniently notices a poster by a young fashion company looking for senior interns and jumps at the chance. Jules, the CEO, is initially skeptical but a close friendship soon blossoms between the two as Ben proves himself to be sort of the missing piece in the puzzle in Jules life. There are lots of nice pockets of wisdom and life lessons throughout and is a proper feel-good movie!

Joker (2019)

by Todd Phillips

In complete contrast to The Intern, Joker is far from a feel-good movie, but I still loved it. It's been sweeping up awards and nominations just about everywhere so I doubt this mention is necessary. Then again if you are one of the 5 people who haven't heard about this Todd Phillips adaptation of the classic, Joker, then maybe this mini-review may, or may not, convince you to see it. Joaquin plays Arthur, a severely mentally ill and lonely man who is a failed comedian and works as a clown as his day job. After constant bullying, isolation, and rejection, he basically says f*ck it and all hell breaks loose in Gotham City as he transforms into the famous criminal Joker. I'll be honest, the movie was dark, grim and painful to watch, and I struggle to find a positive word to describe it. Of course, I loved it, so it's not a bad movie, by all means, it's just not for the faint-hearted, or if you're wanting to watch something fun or uplifting, then probably pick a different movie!

Deliverance (1972)

by John Boorman

Going a lot further back into the archive of movies, I finally watched Deliverance from 1972, which I'd been recommended for a long time. I had no idea what to expect really and seem to enjoy seeing movies this way more. A group of friends set off on what was supposed to be a fun weekend away of camping and canoeing then everything that can go wrong, goes wrong, as Murphy's law would have it. I felt like it reminded me a bit of The Hangover, a similarly optimistic group of guys who leave for a weekend trip away which very quickly escalates into a bit of a nightmare. Deliverance doesn't quite deliver (oops, pun unintended) on the comedy side of things like Hangover does, as the tone of the movie just feels a bit 'off' from the get-go (dueling banjos anyone?). All the performances are excellent, and you really do feel the same sense of panic of the characters as they find themselves in a grave situation. Some make it home in one piece, albeit permanently traumatized from a weekend they'd rather forget.

The Edge of Seventeen (2016)

by Kelly Fremon Craig

Ending on a happier-ish note with one of my favourite teen, coming-of-age comedies to date. I watched this for the second time recently and just love it. Hailee Steinfield (love!) plays Nadine, the awkward, goofy and hilarious high school student who's already quite 'upside down' life is turned further upside down when her older brother begins dating her best, and only, friend. She reacts in the most extreme way causing destruction wherever she goes, in her relationships, her family life and with her teacher, played by Woody Harrelson. What sets this movie apart from other coming-of-age movies with similar clichés is that the arc in Nadine's character is not necessarily about running away from everything and starting over, but accepting the life she has and the people in it, as awkward, confused and complex as she is, and realizing that actually, everything isn't as terrible as she makes it out to be. 

Little Women, Big Dreams

Little Women, Big Dreams

*contains some spoilers*

In this 2019 adaptation of Little Women, based on the 19th century novel by Louisa May Alcott, Greta Gerwig - actress-turned-director/screenwriter - explores the themes of women, money, ambition and art; a story which feels just as relevant today as it did all those years ago.

During the opening scene, as the ambitious Jo, played by the delightful (and now Oscar-nominated) Saoirse Ronan, runs excitedly through the streets of New York after selling a story to the local newspaper, it reminds you of Gerwig herself when she played a similar role as a young, aspiring dancer in the 2012 film Frances Ha. However, this time Gerwig is no longer the young women chasing her dreams, but living them out instead and proving herself as a filmmaker to be reckoned with. This is her latest work since her Oscar-winning and highly-acclaimed Ladybird, and she is now undoubtedly paving the way for women in the film-industry today.

From the interview with Edith Bowman for her Soundtracking podcast, Gerwig mentions a particular line in the book which resonated with her, that line being ‘the world is hard on ambitious girls’. In the film she successfully portrays the four sisters - Jo, Amy, Beth and Meg - as best friends and equally strong individuals in pursuit of their dreams in a tough world. The film’s timeline shows them playing and growing together, and striving for achievement, wealth or creative careers. As the young women mature, Gerwig successfully highlights each of the sisters’ different and individual paths whilst confronting life’s hard knocks along the way. Jo desires to be a successful writer; Amy (played by Oscar-nominated Florence Pugh) a painter in Paris; Beth (Eliza Scanlen), quiet but present, is a talented pianist but suffering from illness and Meg (Emma Watson), desires a wealthier lifestyle, a husband and a family. 

Though their visions on life differ and sometimes conflict, the bond of sisterhood and family never loosens the deep-rooted ties these girls have - whether through betrayal or loss. All girls are equally as expressive and creative, sometimes putting on small plays for children, helping around the house as they live at home with their mother, played by Laura Dern, who keeps things together despite the long absence of their father. They always find ways to keep themselves entertained and despite their own poverty, give to others with even less than themselves. What Gerwig portays so well is four young girls, and sisters, who have been raised well but have simultaneously carved out their own strong characters and direction in life. Equally she shows the obstacles often faced by young women who want a career of their own, but don't want to be lonely, who want wealth but don't know how to get it from a position of poverty or without a man's help, who don't want to get married even when society says you should and who, as Amy once puts it 'wants to be great or nothing at all'. 

The everyday lives of the girls and their motives are slightly shaken with the encounter of their charming and handsome neighbour Laurie, played by Timothée Chalamet, who peaks the interest of a few of the girls, a bit like the arrival of the wounded soldier in Sofia Coppola's, The Beguiled. He provides a new amusement and discovery for the girls who are yet to have their first experience in love. At one point, Beth even admits to 'being afraid of boys'. Sparks fly and jealousy then leads to betrayal, and in one scene Amy heartbreakingly burn's Jo's story out of jealousy. Though love interests cause friction between the girls, the sisterhood remains more important than anything. Jo who is essentially the leader of the pack, doesn't want to let any man stop her from following her dreams, even if that man loves her, or even when another man doesn't approve of her writing. Though careers, dreams and love gets in the way, family definitely comes first, and everything else second.

Gerwig succeeds in directing and telling a beautiful story about strong, determined little women with big dreams, fueled with happy and uplifting moments and with heartbreaking scenes too, mostly all of them which you will probably cry at. The performances are excellent and feel effortless and it is a movie that I will jump at the chance to see again and I highly recommend you go and see too, to support women film directors. I'm pretty disappointed that Gerwig received no director nominations, as I believe this is her best work yet and I'm so excited for her to create more films in the future. 

Disclaimer: I read no other reviews of this film before writing this and have never seen the other adaptations or read the original book (but I intend to asap!), so all words are my own - except quotes. The only research done was of course seeing the film and listening to the Gerwig/Bowman podcast on Soundtracking (listen here). Oh and big shout out to my mum the sub editor, lol.